Weight Gain

Irene: Do they eat a lot of fajitas?

Sleeping in public

Irene: I hope you didn't fart and snore. You know how gasses escape from you in strange places.

Fixing things

Irene: I used to fix TVs in Ghana.

Math

Irene (@ MaryFrances and I): I'm smarter than the three of you combined.

Mummy gets hacked.

Irene: HOW DID GUS GET ONTO MY FACEBOOK?

Porn

Irene: PORN PORN PORN PORN

Bribery

Irene: Can I use your laptop? I'll buy you a bra.
Me: What kind of bra?
Irene: A coochie-mama bra.

Drugs

MaryFrances: You're a loner stoner
Irene: I know
MaryFrances: Do you know what a stoner is?
Irene: No
MaryFrances: It means you do drugs
Irene: Good. I'm stoner.

Phones

Irene: Your phone is ghetto!

PMS

Irene: Are you PMSing?
Me: Yes.
Irene: GET OVER IT