Seamus goes through puberty..

Irene: Stick your doggy dick in! And keep it tucked in! You are not humping with me! You will be asexual! Say, "I am asexual!"

...

Irene: Control your period!

Frolicking

Irene: So after he's played with her goodies, now she's clingy? Hm, stupid.

Oprah's best.

Irene: Have you realized that Oprah looks her best when she's FAT and CHUBBY?!

Making Mummy's Bed

Irene: Um, excuse me you little trollop! Did I tell you to make my bed from the bottom up? COME AND MAKE MY BED NOW!
MaryFrances: Did you just call me a trollop?
Irene: Yes, you are a trollop. I'm not sleeping in a tangled up bed. Go wash your hands and come make my bed.

Witchcraft

Irene: They're all forms of witchcraft you know! Drinking, drugs...the bible says so!

Sangria

Irene: If you can stop to go and blog, you can stop to go and get me a drink!