Weight Gain

Irene: Do they eat a lot of fajitas?

Sleeping in public

Irene: I hope you didn't fart and snore. You know how gasses escape from you in strange places.

Fixing things

Irene: I used to fix TVs in Ghana.

Math

Irene (@ MaryFrances and I): I'm smarter than the three of you combined.

Mummy gets hacked.

Irene: HOW DID GUS GET ONTO MY FACEBOOK?

Porn

Irene: PORN PORN PORN PORN

Bribery

Irene: Can I use your laptop? I'll buy you a bra.
Me: What kind of bra?
Irene: A coochie-mama bra.